So it’s been four weeks since I left the Island of Hope and returned to the Emerald Isle (or ‘America’ and ‘Ireland’ as people commonly say. Actually everyone says that, I’m just being a pretentious eejit )
Reflecting on my trip I’m surprised I even survived the whole experience…. since I still believe no one TRULY understood me.
You think, well they speak English in Ireland and in the USA so there should be no problem with communication, right? You are sorely mistaken my friend.
Whenever I opened my mouth and the culchie garble took over I was met with utterly confused/ bewildered looks.
THEN they would do the thing that every human does when they think they’ve understood you, but really they haven’t…. they nodded and awkwardly smiled! So I was left thinking that I had said something strange, while still talking a mile a minute (because that’s what us Irish do). Next thing I’m on my fifth sentence they were still trying to figure out the first two.
On one occasion this girl (well when I say girl I mean she was like nine so she wasn’t like ‘girl same age as me’, so she was a girl-child I guess? I don’t know) Anyway she came up to me and started asking me all these questions, you know the way kids are. What’s you name, what age are you, what grade are you in, what’s your ambitious, goals, are you truly happy with life? I was only half way through the interrogation when she looked up at me and went ‘you sound German.” That is how hard it is to understand the Irish accent, people LITERALLY think your speaking a different language!
Another example is that when chatting with someone over in America I said to them ”You’re grand” (to you non-Irish folk that means ”you’re ok, don’t worry about it”). I later found out they thought I was giving them a compliment and saying they were great *face palm*
Other example’s are simple word differences that you thought wouldn’t make a big difference but they really do.
When you say you’re going to put your bag into the boot everyone thinks you mean your shoes.
We say hoover they say vacuum.
While out shopping you say into your phone ”I’m just in the queue” and the shopkeeper looks at you and wonders where you’re going to play pool.(it’s line btw)
And finally the one that provides the biggest shocker: I was drawing at the table of my aunts house and turned to her and asked her if ”she had a rubber” , her friend proceeded to look on in horror
A note to future self: from now on say eraser. It saves you from the awkward embarrassment.