Many blogs ago I chatted about how I was learning to drive, well last week I took my first official driving lesson.
SPOILER ALERT: it was a bit of a disaster
I thought instead of face palming at the memory of it, I would share the tale with you.
On the day I was quite nervous and didn’t know what to expect. My driving instructor was a formal middle-aged man, who wore a suit that was a bit tight around the waist band and who liked looking all business like while swiping his iPhone dramatically. We all know the kind. For the sake of the blog we’ll call him Bob.
Anyway, I was brought to a quiet estate to practise. We did the usual conversation filler topics and I suppose the first sign that this was going to go down hill, was when he asked me what kind of car my parents drive. ‘Amm’ I said, ‘I’ll be honest with you and say I don’t know.’ Now the look her gave me was a mixture of amusement and bafflement, the kind of look you would give someone if they said they weren’t sure what colour the sky was. In an effort to try to redeem myself I blurted out what colour it was (massive face palm). Realizing what an idiot I sounded like I looked around the car we were in, ‘I suppose it’s around the same size as this, maybe a little bit bigger but not by much.’ By this stage I just became desperate to be able to give some worthwhile information, so I scanned the estate hoping to see any car that resembled my parents. No such luck. We all just gave up and the instructor just continued on with the lesson.
Now just in case you didn’t know, driving is scary. It’s so much different when you’re sitting in the driving seat and you have control of this big hunk of moving metal. For the lesson we basically drove around this estate, I was shaking like a leaf and I think the Bob overestimated how much I actually knew. We were five minutes into the lesson when he goes ‘now go into 2nd gear’
‘Huh’ I said turning to look at him in horror.
‘Eyes on the road!’
‘Oh right, sorry, but nope nope can’t do that, can’t do 2nd gear’ I said as we crawled along and cars passed me out left, right and centre .
I was also dreadful at braking. I did it, to be fair but every time I did, I flung us both forward. ‘Clutch and break slowly’, Bob wheezed every time, I was terrified I was going to give him a heart attack.
In fairness to Bob he wasn’t the worst teacher, but he kept throwing commands at me that left me in a flurry of panic. And when I get panicked I get upset (as us ole sensitive souls do), so half way through the lesson tears of frustration started falling down my face.
As if things couldn’t get worse.
Then I just got embarrassed which left me crying more until I was a snotty mess in the driver seat.
What makes me laugh when I think back, is that there was another learner driver doing the estate like myself, but going in the opposite direction. So when we passed them Bob saluted the teacher – obviously one of his driving instructor buddies. By this stage the tears were only welling up in my eyes, but my the time we had done a lap of the estate I was on a full-blown meltdown. So when we passed them again Bob gave another obligatory salute, but this time it was a quick awkward ‘please don’t think I’ve just traumatized this girl’ hand wave
I say poor old Bob was happy to see the back of me.
Saying the lesson could have gone better is an understatement, but I suppose they can only get better right?
I hope this blog gave you a bit of a giggle and if you have any disaster driving lesson stories please feel free to share!
Bye for now